Little Natalie

[Private]


I think I need to see a Healer. Or maybe one of those muggle head-doctors they mentioned in the Mad Muggle books. When Adrian came home last night, looking worse for wear mind you, I think I was actually happy to see him. Why am I lying to myself? I know I was happy to see him.

His return meant the loss of my babysitter which of course was nice, and someone to talk to. I'm hoping that's all that contributed to my lifted mood.

[/Private]



bored.

So.

I heard this funny story the other day. Well, not funny ha-ha. More, off-color comedy. See, I heard that this friend just happened to be keeping something kind of big from me.

Any idea what it might be?

Ok so I wasn't going to be ma

Bleeding fuck Seamus. Why didn't you tell me?

Everything I knew is a lie.

I know a lot of you are already aware that Demmie stays with me during Savage's patrols. I've thought we've all been down enough lately and I'm proposing a party of sorts. My understanding is that Alex Bole's bachelor party is on Friday which means that Fish Boy will be gone from the lighthouse and there may be many of you who's jailers are gone as well. I thought that perhaps you can get permission to come here? It may be a long stretch but perhaps it's worth a try? My brother in law will be around to "chaperone" (as an excuse for the care-takers.)

We could sell it to them as a place to take their wards while they are partying. I don't know. Matthias won't actually bother us at all but I'd love to see everyone.

Private to Khloe

We thought maybe you'd want to spend the night since you don't have a curfew?

I guess I've been neglecting this thing lately. I'm still alive, still fine. Nothing to report, really. James' teaching is coming along well...

Private to Friends
I'm sorry if I've worried any of you.

Private to Hannah
I'm so sorry about the wedding. Are you okay? If you need any help, let me know. You were so much help to me.

Well, I'm home from vacation, and I have to say that I'm missing it already. The sun in St. Lucia is remarkable and the ocean was nothing like what I was used to.

I want to extend a thank you to those who were so helpful with the wedding and those who have offered their best wishes. I honestly couldn't have pulled the wedding off without a few of you (and I certainly hope you know who you are) and I'm greatly thankful.

Also, I apologise for not responding to journal entries recently I left my journal at home forgot my journal when we left.

And lastly, a large joyful thank you to Roger. I've named him James and I've begun to teach him piratey things to say.

Here's to hoping everyone is at least as well as I left them.

Millicent, I just wanted to thank you for accepting. I'm sure it'll mean a lot to both of us in the future. The tailor has been informed and is waiting for your appointment.

I don't know what I'm doing. This is absolutely insane! A WEEK!? I wasn't going to do this! I wasn't going to get married at all! Especially not to HIM! I'm out of my mind. It's like a train barrelling toward me and I'm on elevated tracks. Jump and die. Stand and die.

Morbid...

Pucey, I'd like to talk to you about some things before you leave either here or in person, when you have the time.

[left-handed]
Death Eater.

As in, my father's newest title.

I know I shouldn't be saying anything against the current establishment but

I left Loch Melvin early on Sunday. Needless to say, I didn't take the news well. I think I may have alarmed Matthias, who I did apologise for for being a wreck on the holiday.

Fish Boy didn't return until late on Sunday, reeking as per usual. At least Matthias agreed with me this time and sent him to shower immediately.

Finding this out on top of planning a wedding in two weeks? It's a wonder I don't throw myself out of the lighthouse window.

I apologise for the ink spill on my journal last night and the extravagent expression of my surprise that followed it. Thank you for those who have offered both condolences and congratulations. I'd say that both are approprieate. To be honest I never thought that I would marry and if such a time came, I had envisioned my fiance to be a little bit different than Fish Boy Pucey. Okay. A lot different.

Needless to say I haven't been planning my wedding to Prince Charming since I was five so there is a lot to be done in LESS THAN THREE FUCKING WEEKS such a short amount of time. I have Mrs. Malfoy to thank, as well as Mrs. Nott Asteria, for teaching us how to go about planning such an engagement. I never knew those lessons would come into use so quickly.

Switzerland wasn't my only learning experience of late. Last night alone has taught me all sorts of things I know now that I didn't the day before. Look at me looking on the bright side.

(in no particular order)

1. Yes, the marriage program is in fact real. This one may seem like a no-brainer but I assure you that it was never so real as when that invitation to my own wedding came.

2. The second half of a bottle of firewhiskey tastes amazing.

3. I am also inheriting a brother-in-law

4. I'm marrying the wrong brother.

5. I know how to plan a wedding and have no clue where to start

6. My Future husband has an anger problem and deals with his problems by throwing things. It's surprising he has any possessions at all considering how much he breaks.

7. Friends come in surprising forms and sometimes those you always expect to be there for you fail you when you need them the most.

That's all I can think of now.

I suppose I need to contact someone, perhaps Mrs. Malfoy, on a few matters. I am curious about having one of the prisoners participating in the wedding as well as what sort of liberties I have with the ceremony and location.

To those that I made plans with in last night's entry, we should schedule those meetings. I know Rose is coming tomorrow...

To everyone else, I will see you on April 25th.

Which is all to say- where is my fucking calvary?!

[left-handed]

I'm sorry if I've been kind of quiet these past few days. I wasn't in possesion of my journal, which made writing and responding to others obviously difficult.

It's been quiet here but nothing particularly bad has happened. Adrian Pucey Fish Boy has been working on... something... out of the house. We don't talk about it and I can't imagine I'd like to know what was happening even if we did. Yesterday I intended to ask for the journal back when her returned to the lighthouse but he was in a foul mood and was throwing things. Needless to say, I waited until breakfast, where he showed no signs of the ill temper.

I'm sorry I haven't written the pirate story in here yet. I'm admittedly a nervous about it.

In my down time I've taken to the chickens. I think I've made a new friend, I've named him Helios since he's up with the sun.

( Private Ward by Adrian for Natalie, Adrian, Seamus )

left-handed.

I can't sleep, again. You'd think with all of the new physical labor that I'm doing on a daily basis I'd have better luck of it but that just hasn't been the case so far. Instead of forcing myself to stay in the bed I've rose. I'm now staring bleary-eyed at my journal, trying to think of something witty and amazing to say. Instead I've come up with this sleepy rambling while I've been counting the exact number of time the light in the lighthouse has flashed. So far we're on fourty-two.

There is fourty-three.

When you were a kid did your parents ever tell you stories to help you sleep? Mine were never really fairytale types, I just had a book of them. What are everyone's favorites?

Best Wishes,
Little n.

[left-handed]

Is there anyone else out there who is secretly cross with me?

[written left handed.]

I hurt. Every muscle in my body hurts. It seems that my fiance he has ideas that I am not to be his wife but his slave. He still smells like the worst part of fish but I'm noticing less, I suppose. I'm sorry I haven't written lately, I've been too exhausted to do much writing.

There is a library though. Small, though it may be, it does have books- even fiction books. Actually, it needs to be expanded, it's practically bursting with the books that are here and not shelved properly.

How is everyone?

[written left-handed and getting a little better]

Well, I've met him. His name is Adrian Pucey (Roger, trade?) and he is not a beautiful rippling man, with long flowing locks. He may, however, own a ship and his status as Pirate is as of yet unconfirmed. He's certainly as crude as one. Although some of you may have read, he opened a bet to see how long a friend of his would last before he seduced his fiance. Apparently said friend felt I was wrong to vhemently protest when the wages became giving me over for a week. What woman with any self respect wouldn't protest to that?!

It leads me to this that I just can't stop going over in my head. The Dark Lord's new Order is supposed to be promoting Pureblood culture and the erradication of the muggles- did I miss something there? Is that not the goal here? I'm not even going to comment on how wrong that is. I hate to sound like a bigot myself but how hypocritical is it that they are treating us like currency? I am a pureblood, she is a pureblood. We are being betted on, given as 'gifts', and treated as possessions! Do you people not realise that your children are supposed to be our children!? Is it not bad enough that we are forced to marry against our wills and to bare children to men that are less than desirable for most of us? You will disresepect your own family by using your future wives as nothing more than bartering chips?

[written with her left hand and therefore considerably messy]

I can't sleep.

I'm still not positive where I am or what I'm doing here. I was given a hot bath when I first arrived by a woman I don't know. She wouldn't speak to me and barely even looked at him. I was put into a room with a soft bed and I thought I could sleep the remainder of my life away just laying there. I've missed beds so much.

My days have been spent locked in this room. I'm not sure where I am but from the singular window in my room I can see nothing but rock terrain littered with tufts of grass. It smell liked to ocean here and I figure we much be near the coast somewhere... I haven't seen or spoken to anyone other than the woman (who doesn't speak back) and I'm confused. I still don't know what day it is.

But I'm alive, clean, and well rested. Those things have to account for something.

-Little n.

I've been staring at this for hours now. I used to love to write but I don't know what I'm supposed to put in these pages. Journaling isn't exactly the same when you have an audience, is it? And what is it that my audience would like to read? Do you want to hear about the nightmares or how dreadful Hogwarts has turned?

They took me from there and put me here. I don't really even know where here is. It's dark out and I can't see much from my window. I was allowed a bath though, that much was amazing... When I got out there was this journal with a note on the bed I'd been given.

It seems like a trick.

Maybe I've been locked up too long but doesn't this seem like a trick to anyone else? The Dark Lord is just feeling amiable so he's giving everyone a way to communicate all of the sudden? Maybe I'm being paranoid. I suppose jail will do that to you...

To whoever else is out there- I'm Gulliver. And I'm scared.

( Believe me, Natalie, Listen Natalie, This is your last chance... )